Written by Otaku Apologist
Slot Bitches is a free pornographic slot machine simulator. Play for free. For PC internet browsers. Developed by Hooligapps, this game is the most useless piece of erotic media ever.
In virtually every local supermarket, I walk past a row of slot machines. There’s often oblivious people playing on them, because nobody apparently reads any articles or books about anything. The odds of every gambling game are rigged against you. The longer you play these games, the higher the chance that “the house” wins all your money. Every casino makes their money on people who don’t understand probabilities and basic math – that’s why the casinos are luxurious resorts!
If you know slot machines, you can stop reading and just look at the pictures. It’s literally just a slot machine simulator with some porn. You can even set it on auto-play! What’s the point?
See the green button that says “hold for autospin”? That’s the start and end point of your skill check.
The symbols run on your screen for ~5 seconds, and then stop. If you have matching symbols like three similar icons in a row, you win some coins. You’ll hit a jackpot at some point. If you keep playing, you lose it all. The game gives out free coins every day, so you can come back to sate your gambling addiction.
Whenever you’re hitting it good, you access a bonus game. Try to find three girls behind “doors”, and the girl next to the slots will undress one piece of clothing. You could watch a porn video to bust that nut and hit the bed. Or, you could waste your money on stupid shit. Which option are you going to choose? It doesn’t matter, because a small percentage of you are going to choose the latter option regardless.
What makes this game so strange is that you’re not winning any real money. The only thing you win are nude images of the girls. There are countless gigabytes of pornographic videos and images available on thousands of websites on the internet. And still, there’s people out there who spend on games like this.
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