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How to Make Friends and Even Better Enemies

by OtakuApologist
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Written by Otaku Apologist

With so many self-help books on the market giving shitty advice, I have decided to write my own book on the subject. It will likely be self-published, as my style of writing is brazenly offensive. It’s one of the reasons I barely write my own articles, and rather let the more socially adjusted handle the content creation of my website. The book will be semi-serious, with a humoristic take on contemporary western culture and how boys are raised into dysfunctional men in this politically correct technocratic dystopia that treats men as throwaway trash.

During my time in the hentai industry, I have made both great friends and many enemies. My early career, which was an experiment on how far I can take things before shit hits the fan, was riddled with many exciting moments that are worth retelling to future generations. I am also done with feeling guilty over pissing off the wankers and the hustlers of this industry, even the ones I wanted to have sex with. The book will be part of my soul cleansing process, of confessing my sins and earning forgiveness from my God for past misdeeds as a hentai hustler. And naturally, it will be another attempt at experimenting just how far I can take things. It will be very interesting to see if people will read it.

The book will serve multiple purposes. Most importantly, I just feel like it! My ideas are deviant and strange, and definitely not mainstream, which may indicate an untapped market opening. I often find myself in exhausting debates and arguments with virtually everyone I come across. This has led me to the realization that the peculiarities of the philosophy I live by, which has brought me all the relative success I enjoy, cannot be summarized so easily, necessitating the writing of an entire shitting book.

There may be someone who already wrote a book like this. After all, most ideas are not unique at all. I don’t fucking care. The best content creators steal their ideas anyway, and I wouldn’t be offended if accused of such treachery.

My plan for the book is to simply let it all out. I don’t have time or intent to spend arduous amounts of time editing one project when I’m already engaged in more business ventures than one man can count with all his body parts. Most of my ideas are decently formulated in my head anyway. I will write the book as it comes out and write another edition with improved editing, if I feel like it.

The title of the book will be the same as this article: How to make great friends and even better enemies. For reference, I don’t have many friends. But I make a pretty sweet paycheck while maintaining virtually maximum autonomy. That is not common, and I know why that is: You do not have the philosophical framework. Everything you are taught at school, in the media, by your friends and your family, on what is expected of you to achieve success in this life, is complete bullshit. Nobody wants you to be independent, and most life advice is geared towards maximizing your relationships of dependence that lead to concessions of your self-expression and core personality.

The book will be riddled with absolutely fucking terrible life advice. This advice will get you into trouble everywhere you go in life, and you will piss off everyone and their mother. Even people who don’t know you will hate you, the entire galaxy will hate you, should you live by the code! After reading my book, you may even take up self-harm as a hobby!

I have been inspired of Jordan Peterson’s idea of the “disagreeable male”. What I never realized until further reading, is that this is actually what everyone respects and women desire: A guy who stands his fucking ground and doesn’t cuck out. Remember when we had such leaders who kept their word, and fathers and mothers who didn’t just divorce at the first sight of trouble? You know, obstinate, unyielding assholes who actually held the social fabric together?

One of the key observations I have made over the course of my life, is that everyone is mysteriously obsessed with what everybody else thinks about them. They either develop a wallflower personality that fades into the background, or they fake a likable personality while secretly being total bitches. Both types ultimately feel weak and disconnected and will probably get depressed at some point. Neither of these extremes are good, and they highlight the core problem: If you are honest, you are hated. If you are a liar, you are hated. If you are pathetic, you are hated. If you are successful, you are hated. No matter what you do, somebody will hate your guts!

It took me years and countless experimental relationships to fully understand, why I am so fucking good at social networking and selling product online, despite the fact that I am the most vicious asshole the hentai industry has ever known. I was kicked out of every company I worked for! Most of my old friends blocked me! I was kicked out of my World of Warcraft guilds! And most mysteriously, after I became successful and virtually doubled my income living like this, even I hated myself! That will be another goal of my book: Finding the flaws in this very strange life philosophy that brings amazing results.

The book will be assembled from articles I’ll be writing online for public examination and critique, so that our audience can help me and themselves moderate these deviant ideas into a sustainable code of conduct living by which won’t constantly conflict with our actual goals. I am an extreme non-conformist, but I recognize fully, you are not. But you want to be, as badly as I want to be more conformist to reduce the friction in my newfound personal relationships, which I value dearly. This symbiotic relationship between me and you, dear readers, is something I want to cultivate into a healthy experience that helps everybody become stronger personalities and get what we want out of life!

While building up Hentaireviews from its shabby beginnings, I engaged in years worth of shoddy research into creative writing, advertising, politics, western culture, economics, psychology, and more shenanigans. I have been seething for years to share my life’s experience with everyone, so you can all go through the same mind-breaking depression that I went through to acquire my wisdom. It will be a journey into the very roots of why everything in this world is incurably fucked and will never, ever get better!

And from those crushingly depressing realizations of why everything in this universe is the way that it is, we will draw powerful life lessons worth living by – just like religion. Yes, I will convert all of you into my fucking cult of personality… or die trying!

Now… as you can see, I’m not editing shit. This book will just come out! We are writing this bad boy right here, and you can all join the conversation and perhaps even get your ideas published to our hundreds of thousands of monthly readers! Let us begin this journey together, into the maw of madness that is my mind!

Chapter 1: How to Make Friends and Even Better Enemies.

Let’s get some basics down first. You have in actuality zero incentives to be socially acceptable. You may think you’ll make more money and have friends when you tweak your personality into more likable, but you won’t. You will have fake friends, a fake career, and you will hate yourself regardless of the goodies you bargained for with your soul. Because getting success in relationships or business doesn’t come from being pleasing, but from being useful. Because unfortunately, people are selfish assholes who think with their groins.

Here are your options, and they all suck.

If you become what people want, you’ll be hated for being fake. You will hate yourself, and you will hate them for liking the non-authentic version of you. Congratulations, you traded your soul for social approval! You successfully surrendered your self-esteem to others and their perceptions, like a dog walking up to her master with her leash between her teeth.

If you say what people want to hear, you will make them feel good, but self-censor plenty. And when you are not honest with the assholes around you, you’re eventually going to feel hollow and drained hanging with these idiots. You will be lonely despite being surrounded by stupid bags of meat, comforting as they may be. Social masks are emotionally draining to uphold, and you’ll feel the need to frequently disconnect to recharge, lest you’ll punch everyone in the face and scream your lungs out.

The other option sucks equally much. If you are honest, and point out obvious flaws in people, telling your fellow assholes what they’ve needed to hear for years, most of them are going to fucking hate you. You may be momentarily happier, getting the truth off your chest, but you will be less socially connected. That’s gonna suck, but maybe you enjoy loneliness? That’s stupid! There’s nothing more fun than being an annoyance in as many people’s lives as possible, because fuck humanity. Take center stage and shit all over the carpet like a boss.

A very tiny majority of people are able to take criticism point-blank. Because their egos are invested into various deceptive narratives of why they haven’t achieved shit in their lives. If you have people in your life who are comfortable with being told how much they suck, those assholes are keepers. But don’t hold on to them too tight, they’ll leave. Expand your social circle before they leave or they die.

There are no simple options for social networking. There are options that fuck you fast and fuck you slowly. It’s a messy process either way as people leave and people die and the circle of life whirls forward like a wrecking ball. What you actually want to do, is to pick your audience. No, don’t do what that cuck piece of shit Jordan Peterson said, which is make yourself desirable for many women and pick the best one to be your one. No, be the most obnoxious fucking ass and narrow your audience to the smallest possible number of people, and then roll the dice who fucking settles for you. Because that bitch, she’s gonna settle for you for life. Because she, is an asshole too.

You want to figure out what you value and don’t value, so you can raze everything useless and sacrificial to the ground and focus on your obsessions alone. Don’t build yourself up into a respectable human being with universally desirable virtues, fuck that. Build yourself up into a monster. Flip your middle motherfucking finger at every stupid person and watch your life turn into a hellscape of fun. From the ashes, your empire will rise!

Being an asshole is the best feeling in the world. You can piss on petty little shits and turn your back on them like a bitch. Sending that kind of message signals high-status, because fuck, human psychology is stupid. Ever wonder why women always go for the assholes? Because historically, assholes were better at killing and looting and bringing home goodies for the kiddies.

A lot of people are scared of rejection. Because in the jungle, which our ancestors roamed for millions of years, rejection meant death. We still fear rejection to this day like it means death when it usually doesn’t. Most of us live in big cities and nobody gives a shit. Overcoming this ancient genetically coded fear, by taking risks with people and getting both positive and negative experiences, is the most satisfying thing you’ll ever do. Because it’s so fucking scary, the thrill will make your brain orgasm.

Once you’re really secure with yourself, you will enjoy being rejected. Because, when you are a despicable person who is fucking honest and authentic, you will repel the unstable snowflakes and attract only craziest assholes in your circle. You will enjoy sadistically watching pompous self-important bitches too high on their own farts squirm in your overpowering, toxic presence.

Here’s the thing about being socially connected: The more people in your circle, the more shit you’re gonna get. Of course, because there’s more people who don’t even know you! That’s just how it goes, it’s the same shit whether you’re successful or unsuccessful, because people are envious, hateful little goblins. The ability to crack a smile at the haters is for the cool people.

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