Written by Rastafoo69, edited by Otaku Apologist and Mistress Valentine
Get My Nudes, a free to play porn game developed by GETHINS. Released December 24, 2021. Play for free. Available on all platforms. No voice acting. Uncensored genitals.
If you don’t have success in sexting with girls, this game has you covered. These gorgeous fictional non-anime women are waiting hand-and-foot for a salacious exchange with you! Check your phone and see what sexy pics they’re sending! With any luck, you’ll be able to get full frontal nudity!
STORY
There are 12 girls, each with their own unique personality and scenario. The starter girl is Emily Mayers and you play the role of Mark, texting her. The next girl is ‘Aurora A’ and your username is Darius Howell. So this game lacks a single protagonist. Rather, you take the role of different men in unique scenarios.
The dialogue here is absolutely hilarious. It’s super obvious this was translated from another language, and it shows. Some of my favorite lines are “She gives off pain in the testicles” and “You end up and inside you everything becomes even narrower”. Throughout the game “end up” is used to indicate climaxing and ejaculating. Other great lines include “I stroke your testicles” and “Maybe I could tell you the things I want to do to you, and you can tell me the things you want to do to me”.
The protagonist says “I have never undressed as quickly as I do now” or when he tells a girl “You are stunning” and she says “Glad you like, Darius Howell”. Why the heck does the dialogue always use full names? It was hilarious, but it reminded me of that “Send Bobs” meme song, popular in 2021.
A lot of this game is walls of text followed by tons of nude selfies you’d expect to find on Reddit or Onlyfans. The erotic dialogue is far from hot. Like a girl having an orgasm on her vibrator. She was going to do that anyway, it has nothing to do with me.
It feels like this game was made by a boomer. Aurora says “Omg sometimes I wonder if I’m bi” and later kisses a girl named Meg. That’s not really taboo in 2022. Aurora has lesbian tendencies, woohoo, but that has nothing to do with me. I wanna see her legs spread, I don’t care if she kissed a girl or not!
GAMEPLAY
Although there are 12 women in total to seduce, free players can actually only experience 2. If you liked those two, you are encouraged to buy a new one for only $5. Ergo, completing the game is a $50 investment.
While texting is nice, I would have preferred a bit of variety. Like, formatting the UI to look like Snapchat or to appear like Facebook Messenger! That would be super hot and you could have dialogue like “I almost posted that to my story!”. Instead, we get basic phone text messages.
The images do not load properly on Microsoft Edge. The game runs pretty spotty on anything besides Chrome. If you’re part of the 40% of society who doesn’t use Chrome, you’ll have to download a separate browser to play this game. Even on chrome, images often wouldn’t load for me.
The core gameplay loop is pretty simple. You talk back and forth a bit, then “the girl logs off”. You cannot continue the game unless you wait on a timer or pay crystals. I always paid the crystals, which are given for daily logins.
The game is designed to lead up to sex with Aurora at the same time you run out of diamonds. Meaning, it’s designed to keep you blue-balled unless you spend real currency. Of course you can wait some hours for free diamonds, but will you?
GRAPHICS
All images in the game have a “GetMyNudes.com” watermark. This can make it hard to get immersed into the setting, since you have that URL in the corner at all times. It’s made worse by the fact that the player is given no choices on what to say, so you’re always looking at blocks of text completely unfamiliar to you. Even cartoon games like Crush Crush have better texting mechanics than that!
I didn’t like a lot of small aspects to the game. Like how sometimes a girl sends sexy pics and other times it’s just regular clothes. Or how the dildos have leopard patterns and strange colors instead of a simple skin-tone. Some scenes clearly show the girl is not holding the camera, which makes it hard to suspend my disbelief.
The game is almost entirely white girls. That’s all well and good, but I would prefer an Asian or a black chick to spice things up. It’s a game about texting random girls for nudes, the least you could do is let the player have some freedom here!
Assuming you play on browser, you’ll have to deal with a phone resolution in the center of the screen with two stock images on the side. This game was clearly designed for mobile devices.
VOICE ACTING AND SOUND EFFECTS (SFX)
Get My Nudes has no voice acting or sound effects.
MUSIC
Get My Nudes has no music.
HENTAI
There are 12 possible women. Due to the focus on texting and sexting, the most action you’re gonna get is some dildos and vibrators. The girls strip down pretty quickly, so there isn’t really a lot of tension. As discussed, the dialogue is poorly written. I hope they improve on this part, because the text is very important to be enticing for a game of this type.
CONCLUDING WORDS
Get My Nudes is a simple porn game, but that’s why it’s free. Just log on, text some babes, and get some sexy nudes! What it lacks in creativity, it makes up for in the quality of the images. The concept is great, but execution could use a little polish. Play this on today!
Overall
- Graphics
- Gameplay
- Story
- Music
- SFX
- Hentai
