Written by Otaku Apologist
Girls on Tanks, a turn-based war strategy browser game developed by Super Hippo Games. Released in June 2017. Available for free on Nutaku.net. Available for PC Windows and Mac and Android phones. Partial voice acting. Uncensored genitals.
One of the most fun browser games on the hentai gaming market is Girls on Tanks. It’s a full-blown turn-based strategy game with collectible waifus. You control a small army pitted against larger armies, fighting to complete map objectives while overcoming overwhelming enemy numbers with smart positioning. You play with just your hand or your mouse.
Note: This game has been discontinued on Nutaku.
STORY
Several military factions are warring for dominance over the continents of the world. At the start of the game, you are in conflict with all of them. Later on, everyone forms an alliance against Winter’s Blood, because they are evil. This story is not winning the Oscars for writing.
The story is very much an excuse to pit modern armies against each other. There’s no story-specific scenes, no cut scenes. You could play the game without knowing anything about the characters.
The writing is without spelling errors. The reading experience is fine, although pointless.
GAMEPLAY
Girls on Tanks plays similar to Nintendo’s Advance Wars. Every turn, players move their every unit before passing it on. You generate war funds from captured cities, and build new units from factories. Imagine playing chess and moving the entire line of pawns forward as your opening move. The first-mover advantage would be game-deciding without the counter-attack mechanic: Each attacked unit fires back. If they are placed in the woords, cities, or mountains, the units gain extra points to their defenses, making their counter-attack much stronger.
You need a keen eye for situations where one side has the offensive advantage. You are actively switching gears from playing defensive positions to blitzkrieging the enemy force. You also need to identify which units you need to be building to counter the enemy’s army composition.
Each unit has different strengths and weaknesses. Helicopters and bombers can attack all ground units, while most units can’t scratch them back. Meanwhile, anti-air units and portable missile batteries down planes with ease. The unit counters are seldom in the style of rock-paper-scissors. There’s soft counters and hard counters. You need multiple types of units to complete map objectives, like infantry and motor bikes, which are the only units that can capture cities.
You can influence the power levels of your units by choosing commanders that enhance them. If you employ a list of commanders that all boost your infantry damage, your infantry will be ripping through tanks and vehicles like they’re paper. The special powers of the commanders include percentual bonuses to specific units’ attack and defense, price reductions to a unit type, increased defense or offense for units positioned in the woods, cities, roads, or mountains. Each officer also has a special power they can fire off once per combat. Your commander can use their special move multiple times per turn, whenever the special gauge is filled.
The campaign maps have different victory conditions. Sometimes you have to capture a specific structure on the map, sometimes you have to survive an overwhelming enemy force for a set number of turns. Some maps have large distances between objectives, while other maps feature multiple hostile factions in close-quarters.
What playstyle you employ is heavily influenced by the commander you choose. It’s fun to mix things up, and go from a turtle style to an aggressive mobile style. Some commanders let you play brute force aggression with superior war marchines. As the resources at your disposal differ greatly between maps, there is no one superior style, because you simply can’t afford the units.
Once you’re in the groove and no longer getting a challenge from the campaign, up the difficulty. The game has two difficulty modes. If nothing else satisfies you, dump the PVE campaign and go play player-versus-player.
The only real offset the game suffers from is the very penalizing stamina system. You can only play two maps every hour: Your base stamina is 60 points, while the battles cost 25 points. You can buy more energy by purchasing the game’s premium currency and spending them on energy boosts. This game is awesome in every way, but this hindrance is the main reason why I believe it’s not more popular on Nutaku’s lineup.
GRAPHICS
Girls on Tanks has cute anime-style character art. The game features female characters only. They wear incredibly sexy skin-tight costumes that place emphasis on their feminine figures. The character art is barely featured in the actual gameplay, but it adds nice flavor.
The maps have units, and map objects.
BUSINESS MODEL
Girls on Tanks is free to play. If you want to support the developer, you can buy the game’s in-game currency Crystals. Crystals buy chests with officer cards (multiple duplicates of the same cards let you level up your bitches), and boost charms that improve your units’ stats in battles. Crystals also buy map-specific boosts and energy.
The business model would be great without the penalizing stamina cap as part of it. I hate that I can’t play more than two maps every hour for free. It’s a useless hindrance that stops me from enjoying the game, and doesn’t make me want to spend more on the game. If you want people spending money on your free to play title, you need to let them indulge, so they will want to spend on quality-of-life improvements to make their hours spent playing more convenient. I’ve personally spent hundreds of dollars on the better free to play titles on Nutaku, and it’s usually been the games where I’m allowed to play unlimited hours without hindrances.
The reason why the stamina system doesn’t work in this system is because the game is already tough enough. You can fail multiple times just figuring out the right composition of commanders. If you’re trying to gate the players so they don’t advance too fast, reduce the rewards for winning battles. Just let people play the damn game. Let me play at least two hours straight without cockblocking my primal thirst for ultra violence.
You receive two free chests every day. The first chest you can open every 6 hours and it contains a couple officer cards of common and rare quality. The other free chest has a cooldown of 24 hours, and it contains commanders of common, rare, and epic quality, and free crystals.
VOICE ACTING AND SOUND EFFECTS (SFX)
Girls on Tanks has partial voice acting.
The game has a slew of great sound effects that make the battles come alive. When war machines are destroyed, an orgasmic explosion rings in your ears. When infantry units get squashed, it’s like an air balloon was popped. The movement of the units also comes with their own sexy effects; the engines roar realistically.
MUSIC
The soundtrack of Girls on Tanks is energetic, and happy. The songs hype up the horrors of war like the massive loss of human life is a dance. The menu music is a serious militaristic beat that builds up anticipation. Meanwhile, the battle music has several variations, each of them a pleasure to the ears. The tracks are synthetic and don’t sound like real hand-played instruments were used to compose them. The content is still good, though I prefer songs played with real instruments to computer generated music.
HENTAI
The game’s sex scenes are lacking. The game is stuffed with short sex scenes with mediocre art, audio, and bad writing instead of a small list of really good fucks. The developer focused too much on quantity over quality. If they wanted players to collect female officers and strip them naked via level-ups, they should’ve just done that. Creating a scripted sex scene with unique art for each girl is very expensive and laborous. Even browser games that succeeded with implementing sex scenes for all the collectible girls, ie. flower knight girl, the scenes were simple, and painfully mediocre. The developer of this game over-stretched their resources.
Because there’s so much art in the game, the studio clearly had to cut costs somewhere. The imagery in the hentai scenes isn’t high quality. A couple really good images would’ve worked much better. The developer missed out on the opportunity to create quality art that people would share on image sites and social medias, drawing interest to their game.
CONCLUDING WORDS
Girls on Tanks is one of the best western hentai games. There’s a learning curve, mechanics to master, it’s a game that challenges you to think smarter as you play. The gameplay is the main source of fun in this game, and the added female beauty is the icing on the cake.
I recommend this title to fans of Advance Wars. Start playing Girls on Tanks.
Overall
- Graphics
- Gameplay
- Story
- Music
- SFX
- Hentai
