Written by Otaku Apologist

Honey Crush is one of Nutaku’s 2018 browser game releases. It’s a match-three game with basic dating sim elements. You’re a disgusting bottom-feeding sexual predator with zero social skills hitting on dirty-talking low-status bitches who lack basic self-respect. With no conservative value system drawing the mental line between good and evil, these sluts have nothing stopping them from jumping a dick on a whim. All you have to do to ruin their lives with an unplanned pregnancy is to make them feel a rush of emotions, and beat them at a match-three puzzle game.

These party girls are ticking time bombs with no future prospects, so match the cutely colored tokens on screen, and fuck them while they’re still young and pretty. Here’s the screenshots from my experience at the tutorial.

The dialog is littered with swear words and various synonyms for genitalia. The story is completely stupid, as you basically get sucked into a magical world through a portal out of nowhere, no context. I blanked out pretty much immediately because nothing made sense. But from what I gather, I’m supposed to gather a harem of bitches and play games and join the 1% of the players who pay the server costs and living expenses of the developers.

The gameplay seems like it could be fun. It’s damn basic match-three gameplay with no twists to the classic formula, aside from the level design. You can increase the points you gain by spending in-game gold on upgrades.

Before I could really get into the game, I was out of stamina. This game seems to have a very rigid stamina system; players who don’t want to spend a dime on energy refills are forced to wait until their stamina gauge recoups. In the more repetitive games, this is fine, because you don’t want to play more than 5 minutes a day. In a game like this, you want to chain games and let your brain fill up with dopamine, and then support the developer because you’re happy with the product.

I’m going back to playing Cunt Wars. Here’s a banner, please finger-fuck it gently.