Written by Otaku Apologist

Boob Wars: Big Breasts Versus Flat Chests, a hentai visual novel / card game hybrid, developed by Softhouse Seal. Published by MangaGamer in March 21st, 2014. Available at Nutaku’s digital store for $25.00. Uncensored genitals. Available for PC Windows operating systems (Win 7 is minimum).

Boob Wars 2 was one of the first eroge I reviewed all the way back in 2015. As fap fuel goes, the sequel to this game was very good. However, as it often goes with sequels, their quality is the culmination point of a process of innovation that started from something. This writeup is my brief look at the first installment of the Boob Wars series.

STORY

You are Takamura Manabu, a member of a secret organization of erorists (terrorists?). Your mission is to seduce the queens of the two warring boob tribes, and bring an end to the destructive conflict.

The story is a combination of alternative history memes and clinical autism. A mysterious virus broke out and caused the world’s women to develop vastly different cup sizes. Now, everyone is either massively stacked, or flat as a board.

GAMEPLAY

Pick girls on a world map. You always have four choices. After picking a girl, you fight a card battle with her. If you’re successful, you can plunge your penis into her vagina. The card battle mechanics are simple fare: You draw two cards each turn. The card battle has two phases: Attack and defense. If the attacking player’s cards have a higher combined number value, you deal damage to the enemy. If the defending player’s combined value of cards is the same or higher, he blocks 100% of the damage. You can play up to three cards per turn. The side whose health points drop to zero, loses.

If you lose one battle, you get a “game over” screen. You can immediately retry the battle. You can instantly die if you pick an opponent that’s way too strong, like the flat chest tribe’s queen. She’s a complete monster… at card games.

I’ve played plenty of card games, from Magic The Gathering, to Hearthstone, to Seven Wonders, and World of Warcraft TCG, to name a few. A really fun card game is a puzzle game: Every game should be different, every new hand and board situation should pose a challenge to overcome. The Boob Wars card game is just a simple numbers game. This wouldn’t be a problem, but the games take several minutes longer than they last their appeal. I haven’t been given any chance to customize my deck, nor are there any cards with interesting effects, or combos.

GRAPHICS

Visually, Boob Wars is an average looking game. The sprites look better than the CG artwork. The sprites only have one pose and set of clothing. The facial expressions of the girls change plenty, but some faces look downright bad. Their mouths sometimes move to the side in an awkward manner, and their noses from certain side angles look goofy. The CGs are very simplistic, with their coloring and low level of detail. I really missed seeing more sharpness in the lines, and more detail in the backgrounds. Some CGs only feature a grey room with a bed, like some cheap thai massage parlor.

The backgrounds are decent, but compared to other Japanese games on the market, these backgrounds aren’t cutting it. Even the glorious throne rooms with their powerful architecture and mystical lighting, are very simple compared to other medieval fantasy games I’ve played recently.

SOUND EFFECTS AND VOICE ACTING (SFX)

Boob Wars has standard Japanese female voice acting. If you masturbate to barely legal Japanese girls screaming their lungs out, you will cum buckets at Boob Wars. The girls sound completely insecure about themselves, and emotionally overwhelmed by the new bodily sensations causing them apparent sensory overload. It makes sense the girls feel overwhelmed, as sometimes the sex is barely consensual. Takamura beats the girls in battle, and quickly proceeds to dipping his dick into their moist holes, sometimes without asking for consent. The dialog oozes estrogen, and is enjoyable to listen to, even as it’s nothing special in the current market. I can’t single out particularly good voice performances. There’s some voice acting in combat too, as the girls emote their battlecries.

The sound effects include sword swings and clangs. There’s also a whoosh sound that plays when the chibis dash into a charge. Sex scenes have a stock ejaculation effect you’ve surely heard in other Japanese eroge.

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MUSIC

The soundtrack is filled with uninteresting synthetic tunes. The opening song, “Get To The Peace”, has sweet female vocals and a good instrumental, but no memorable melody. The song plays during the opening movie, which is impressively edited. The movie hypes up the game contents. The song during dialog scenes is another fast-paced song. It was such a chaotic piece, it frankly made me feel anxious to skip the dialog. When there is an absence of an identifiable melody, there’s nothing pleasurable about a musical piece. The battle music is just an ultra fast hollow beat.

HENTAI

The hentai scenes consist of a singular slide and its variants. The sex is described in text, while the voice actresses moan and scream in the standard mind-blowing cock-craven tone that makes anime fappers worldwide jizz their panties.

Some CGs are very sexy. My favorite was the flat-chest tribe’s queen. She’s an ultra tsundere loli with long blonde twintails. Her dress is beyond sexy, barely covering her supple board-flat body. Her nipples are barely hidden. There’s little holes in the dress that reveal specks of skin. Her mischievous expressions, especially when she’s blushing, are the icing on the cake. Her sex scenes were very delicious, with added animation during the in-and-out intercourse.

CONCLUDING WORDS

If you love anime, and you’re new to hentai games, and never played a visual novel before, Boob Wars is a fine first-step into this world of depravity. In the current environment with hundreds of hentai games available for western customers, it doesn’t stand out. If you’re a fan of Softhouse Seal, this game can be a joyous historical experience for you.

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