Written by Otaku Apologist
Cunt Wars is the most competitive player-versus-player adult game on the western hentai scene. It’s a fairly complex game that involves deck building and advanced resource management.
I’m a league 4 player with 7000+ might. I still meet players in this league who use rares and even commons! The awesome thing about Cunt Wars is that there’s practically no level cap. When you level-up a card to a high level, she can become a better fit to your ladder roster than a low level legendary.
The rare cards listed here are so powerful, you can build a competitive deck around them.
Rare cards should not be underestimated. I have seen high level players use level 20+ Wood Spirits, Nagas, Untouchables with 1500 might. The reason is clear: These rare cards have great effects and only need the stats to back them up.
Strategical Ranged Cards
Wood Spirit is not just a solid medium-damage ranger. At the start of your turn, she gives extra life to your map objectives, and your other units. If your opponent fails to kill her, soon your every rock and tree becomes too healthy to kill.
Fireworker is my favorite ranger, and I use him in my ladder deck. He is a hard counter to several commonly played legendaries, like Athena and Prince. He can deal with rangers hidden behind rocks, and kill wounded enemies.
Wind Snake is a flying ranger. If you hide her behind a rock, no melee unit aside from Tinkmaster Gear can touch her. She can be very hard to kill, and even gives bonus life to nature allies and nature map objectives (bushes, totems, etc.).
Bowmaster has amazing healing abilities. I’ve seen players use her even in leagues 7 and 6. A high level Bowmaster is a real nuisance: Any time your opponent attacks your warlord, all your units get healed.
Awesome Melee Cards
Gargoyle was part of my ladder deck until league 6. He deals damage to all enemies when he enters play – perfect for killing pesky low-health stragglers! When he’s attacked, he zaps a random enemy.
Flesh Spawn was part of my ladder deck until league 4. He’s a little low health, but his line-freeze is always relevant. Freeze a line of enemies and place a ranger behind him with splash. Throw Adam’s storm in the mix and kill everything.
Rock is a very powerful card in lower leagues. He has high health. He poisons a random enemy in his line. He might not kill an enemy immediately, but the poison weakens them to the point they’re easy to pick off.
Ancient is a cute succubus with exceptionally high health. She heals herself when she attacks, and even steals damage points! In slow-paced low-league games, Ancient neutralizes enemy tanks and hits like a truck.
Cards for Aggro Decks
A game of Cunt Wars is seldom evenly matched. You’re either fighting decks more powerful than yours, or farming noobies who can’t hold a candle to your swaggery. A good aggro strategy will let you steal games from players with stronger decks than yours. Let’s look at these cards designed specifically for aggressive players.
Friendly Spirit has exceptionally high damage, but very low health. The best time to play her is in the middle turns of a game, when the board is populated with enemies. If your opponent kills her, she’ll freeze one random enemy. In a fast-paced game, a single freeze can mess up your opponent’s plans completely.
Pilgrim’s comes to play effect is lethal: All your order allies gain bonus damage for one turn. Combine the ability with Adam’s ‘Call to Arms’, and you’ll end the game in a blink.
Drow kills one wounded enemy when she comes to play. She can instantly clear a path to your other monsters, and deal lethal damage to the enemy warlord. You only need to scratch an enemy tank and Drow will finish him.
Summoner fills the board with zombies who charge the opponent in a blood-crazed frenzy. Forces panicked reactions from opponents. Summoner can be countered by many cards but not before he’s hit where it hurts.
Cards that Deal With Problematic Cards
At lower leagues, the pace of the game is usually slow. Nobody has three double-strikers in their decks, or Void Juggler. This leads to a metagame where you need solutions – any solutions – against dragons, high-health tanks, and against rangers hiding behind rocks. I assembled this list of cards that pose solutions to real situations on the ladder.
The Aqua Spirit freezes two ranged units when she comes to play. Your opponent may have been pulling ahead in the damage race, but she swung it back into an even game. A very solid card that catches foes off guard.
Dark Witch is a poor man’s solution to Athena. Virtually everybody plays Athena in every league, because she’s been running without an affordable counter for months. Dark Witch nukes the board when she comes to play.
Mummy is a ranger with a relatively powerful poison ability. He’s an imperfect solution to dragons and other high-health units. The poison weakens an enemy until he’s in your range to kill. He’s a weak bitch but a solution nonetheless.
Prophet is great for killing stragglers. Many a times, your opponent’s board will be filled with weakened minions waiting to die. The prophet has pierce and a comes-to-play effect that scathes rangers. She’s a solid solution to many situations.
High-damage Aggro Cards
Some cards offer little benefits besides their damage value. Sometimes that’s all you care about!
Naga has only one ability: Double-strike. She can kill the rock and the ranger hidden behind the rock. She can kill two low-health enemies alone. Her high damage ends games. In high leagues, her ass grows so big, she can be impossible to kill. Naga is a direct solution to many problems, and that’s why players love her aside from her cute face.
Repressor is a ranger that gains bonus damage when she comes to play. The more nature allies and nature map objectives (bushes, totems, etc.) you have on your side of the board, the higher her damage stat. The buff is permanent.
Wood Elf is a high-damage ranger that will catch your opponent off-guard. When she comes to play, she swaps the health and damage stat of one random ally. Turn that low-hitting tank which your opponent was ignoring into a killer.
Untouchable has high damage, mental shield, and block. He trades favorably with enemies and can be hard to kill. A very solid melee card that keeps showing up even in higher league games.
High Value Cards
These rare cards are powerful in low leagues. They get replaced by epics and legendaries in higher leagues, because they offer no unique benefits. Until you rank up, consider adding these bad boys and girls into your starter deck!
Dream Whelpling is a flying dragon with splash. Her health is high and her damage average. Cannot be touched by melee units, very useful for killing stragglers because of her splash damage. Highly recommended!
Death Whelpling is a flying undead dragon with reborn. Her damage is very high, and she’s hard to trade with. Melee can’t touch her, and the average ranger will just die to her. Good for creating favorable trades where you win out.
Mr. Toad is a high-health tank with spikes. He’s good for dealing with aggressive players who abuse Adam’s ‘Call to Arms’ ability in their aggro strategy. He also gives block to a random ally when he comes to play.
Cultist is the most solid rare ranger card in the game. He summons a bush with spikes in front of him. When an enemy hits the bush, they take damage. He is valid even in high leagues because his bush gains massive health, and the spike damage goes way up. Great for dealing with aggressive players.
And that’s it for free advice, fuckboys. Get on my level, bitches.