Motsutoys: The Legend of Rubber Buttocks
Written by Otaku Apologist
My daily exercise schedule consists 2-3 walks lasting 30+ minutes each. It’s the minimum you need to stay healthy. Today however, my morning workout was enhanced by a gigantic package of sextoys arriving in the mail!
You know you’re a high-status serial masturbator when companies start sending you thousands of dollars worth of shit to put on your dick. I checked the prices of these products. Each item runs in the range of 100-300€. Goddamn!
My waifu was super impressed by the loot. Who needs socialism when you can get free shit just for having tens of thousands of monthly visitors to your website that you can offer to companies like lambs to the slaughter??
When I started blogging about onaholes back in 2015, the holes that anime fappers preferred sticking their dicks in were compact loli holes. These products were no larger than your clenched fist. The trends are shifting towards massive rubber buttocks weighing several kilograms. It’s another sign of the impending collapse of western civilization.
This is the Tower of Babel of our time: A mountain of pussy reaching for the skies in defiance of God!
We got two bottles of lubricant, three big asses, and whatever is in these black boxes. Could be drugs? Human body parts? We’ll find out in the weeks to come just how deep into the dark side of capitalism Motsutoys has descended.
I never imagined in my early twenties that I’d be masturbating my way to the upper middle-class lifestyle of hedonistic materialism. I thought education was the ladder up the social hierarchy! No, the path to wealth is prostituting yourself to companies!
Let’s be real. Women these days are complete sluts, running through your hoods milking every dick they can get between their legs. When calculating the costs and risks of an active sex life in this liberal world order that celebrates sin, a high-quality rubber buttock is the most cost-effective sexual outlet from a purely mathematical perspective. If you don’t value the pleasure chemicals generated by physical proximity to a living, breathing whore, a rubber buttock is your natural level-up.
The toys included in the box are Kyo 7 Sins, Kyo Skirt Girl, Kyo Jeans Girl, Kyo Bound Kukuru, Kyo bound Kohai, Kyo Maintenance Powder, and Kyo 306ml Lubricant. You can browse all these fine products at Motsutoys.
The post office did not mention the weight of the package. When I got the paperwork signed up, the post worker handed me this massive brown cardboard box weighing 10 kilograms at least. I could barely walk a few meters while carrying it. Despite my house residing literally a block away from the postal service, I took 40 minutes to drag these big-ass sextoys home.
This toy alone weighs probably 5 kilos. What the fuck am I even watching..?
If you’re a serial masturbator in the Eurozone, Motsutoys is one of the cheapest online stores available to you. You pay no import tax on your order, even if you live in post-Brexit United Kingdom.
I thank Motsutoys for providing me with these products for review, and hope to God I have the stamina to actually fuck these pussies and write comprehensive reviews. My next week’s loads are officially reserved for onaholes.
You can support our website by visiting Motsutoys for your sextoy shopping. Explore a world of rubber ass.