Written by Otaku Apologist
Cunt Wars is an epic pay-to-win hentai card game, developed by Hooligapps. Whenever I’m bored writing articles about crappy hentai games, I hop into Nutaku to play some goddamned Cunt Wars. Today we’re taking a look at my $200 deck and talking strategy. This article is written on the assumption that you’re already a player, therefore I won’t be covering the basics of gameplay. If you’re curious about the game, read my review of Cunt Wars.
The challenge I face in my current league is that everybody has high-health tanks. I’m meeting monsters with 50+ health, while my highest hitting card only deals 26 damage. I can’t survive long games, plus most people rush face anyway.
My solution has been to develop an aggressive counter-attack strategy.
The only right answer to getting punched in the face is to stab them in the groin. My deck is a kick to the balls.
I want to draw first blood with a high damage bitch, ie. Miss Lapin, Prince, or Lady Clair. If my opponent counter-attacks, I follow up with Void Juggler, at which point half of his health disappears on turn two. I win games with a turn-two Void Juggler ~70% of the time. The reason for that is Bastet, Gargoyle, and Fireworker. These three cards nuke the board from weak little shits blocking my attack path. Some lucky games, I even end on turn three.
My main heavy hitter is Prince. He hits 26 damage total, and is very difficult to fully neutralize.
Opening with Prince is not ideal, because he can be neutralized with Goliath, Gargoyle, Miss Lapin, or Prince Nod. These cards are relatively rare thankfully, though Miss Lapin has been showing up recently a lot more. I usually wait to play Prince after I’ve baited out one of his counters from my opponent, ie. Miss Lapin.
Ideally my opponent ignores the Prince, and tries to race me down by counter-attacking my face. Many opponents are still not expecting Miss Lapin, and may summon three minions into the same lane. If they race me, I activate my trap card…
Miss Lapin’s freeze ability stuns an entire lane of enemies. She blocks minion damage better than any tank.
Speaking of tanks, I use two with reflect damage. Gargoyle and Prince Nod aren’t the highest health tanks around, but opponents seldom want to fight them, because of their damage reflect. Gargoyle zaps a random enemy for 10 damage every time he’s attacked. He also gains a “comes to play” effect on a higher level, which deals 3 damage all enemies. Gargoyle is perfect for killing the archers from Adam’s summoning ability, plus any stragglers.
I usually finish my games with Lady Clair, Miss Lapin, or Void Juggler. I want a burst of damage to end the game before my enemy can counter the board I set up. Void Juggler is perhaps the most commonly played card in the entire game for the very reason that she ends games. She’s a low health bitch, but when she comes to play, she gives permanent double strike to a random ally minion. You’ll easily deal over 30 damage on the turn you play her.
Cunt Wars is currently the top-most played game on Nutaku. Everything about this game is executed to maximize the fun. There is no stamina system constricting your playtime, and there’s enough content for a daily gaming session of 2-5 hours.
I warmly recommend Cunt Wars for all lovers of collectible card games. Play for free.
