Cunt Wars Celebrates White Christmas
Written by Otaku Apologist
This Christmas my family wasn’t celebrating much. My mother was working through Christmas, while the rest of us were busy sleeping off a year’s worth of fatigue.
My mom was sacked from her public sector job two years ago. She worked for an educational facility for over 20 years, almost her entire professional career. After two years of unemployment, she finally found a company that hired her. She’s taking it very seriously, as the job is only temporary. She’s been working weekends throughout the year, to make as much money as possible before her contract expires. I didn’t feel like celebrating Christmas at all, so I made the silent resolution to keep producing content for Hentaireviews.
My mother was the most productive employee in her department. She worked hard to maintain our family’s middle-class lifestyle her whole life. She was sacked despite her results because the centrist Finnish government led by prime minister Juha Sipilä betrayed campaign promises. During the 2015 election campaign, Juha Sipilä promised no cuts to education. Soon after his party Keskusta formed a coalition, public education budget was slashed by 210 million euros. These cuts were necessary, as the government needed every penny to pay one billion euros in welfare benefits to illegal muslim immigrants.
Two years after this ultimate act of virtue signaling, a failed asylum seeker committed Finland’s first ever islamic terrorist attack in the town of Turku. Abderrahman Bouananen, a muslim refugee from Morocco arrived in Finland in spring 2016. He murdered two people and injured eight with a kitchen knife on August 18, 2017. He wrote a manifesto and made a video. He was found guilty of terrorism in 2018.
We sold our house in summer 2016. We moved in with my father. He had moved to this city two years ago. My father was forced to move when his department was closed after the Finnish government cut subsidies for the company he works in. The subsidies were cut a year after Finland joined European Union’s sanctions against Russia. We’ve been living in this city ever since. It’s been two years.
I have been writing about mediocre hentai games for years while the world burns around me. More and more terrifying news of Islamic terrorism are coming from Sweden, France, Germany, United Kingdom. Every European government is now abusing their hate speech laws (originally invented by the USSR communist party) to silence the press, and public discussion. All this time, my path forward has been to play scummy porn games that make me want to stab people, just like Abderrahman Bouananen. Everything changed in summer 2018.
Cunt Wars was launched. Of all the miserable adult games I’ve played over the years, Cunt Wars is the least terrible. Anytime I get depressed about the creeping collapse of Europe, I play.
If you haven’t tried this game yet, you can check out my review. It’s a collectible card game with the most psychopathic monetization logic of any free to play game ever. It’s also lots of fun.
My Christmas celebration was limited to playing the “XXX-mas event” on Cunt Wars. I splurged a hundred bucks of my ad revenue on the game’s premium currency. I bought tons of cards, rank-up packs, the “King of the North” avatar. I left two thousand gems in my bank for future events.
My current build in Cunt Wars hasn’t changed much. The only difference is that I’ve adjusted my strategy to be faster. The tanks in league 6 and 5 can have over 100 health points. It’s impossible for me to play long games against monsters who spend many times the money I do. My strategy is to play fast and dirty.
Void Juggler and Queen Ananta for double strike, Flesh Spawn and Miss Lapin for crowd control. I have no tanks, no fliers, nothing to solidify my position on lanes. This deck goes face on turn one and ends the game on turn three. My secret weapon is Regardus Diplius. I discovered him in a chaos event in November 2018.
My strategy has been successful. I am now league 5, destroying nerds.
The Christmas celebrations at Cunt Wars have been running the entire month of December. While snow has been scarce in my urban multicultural cesspit, Cunt Wars had a white Christmas.
Play the whitest hentai game on the planet. Play Cunt Wars.