Written by Otaku Apologist

Cunt Empire, an adult business management / clicker idle browser game developed by Hooligapps. Released in autumn 2020. Play for free at CuntEmpire.com. Partial voice acting. Uncensored genitals.

STORY

You are a narcissistic asshole with a killer six pack who uses sexy, young, vulnerable women with an endless sex drive and no inhibitions in your shady sex business. You and your bitches are stuck in a time-loop, because the writers couldn’t come up with a more sensible story explanation as to why you keep starting your businesses from scratch every episode.

The dialog is better than you’d think. The banter between the male lead and the girls is flirty and occasionally sexy, and will definitely appeal to players who enjoy brash dirty talk. As old as the joke gets, references to Ground Hog Day are thrown around.

GRAPHICS

The game’s visuals are amazing at times. The sprite art, loading screen art, the cards, the store, and the mini-games are all beautiful and highly detailed. You can easily bust a nut at the lascivious ladies prancing their tight asses around. It’s a fantasy come true for any wanker who’s wanted to be the center of attention for arrogant, dismissive sluts who have no sexual restraint at all.

The girls fit into various archetypes, like the girl next door, daddy’s girl, geeky cosplayer, stuck-up bitch, ice queen, all the classics. The characters aren’t fictional, but based on actual real porn stars. As you upgrade them to new levels, the girls will lose their clothing and stuff sextoys in their wet orifices. This isn’t reflected anywhere outside of the collection area.

The game sometimes lagged for me while playing on Firefox. I also stumbled on to the occasional visual bug, like girls being invisible. The lag even affected my mini-game performance, when the game failed to register my clicks. The game also has short live-acted unlockable porn videos, which were so choppy for me, I couldn’t enjoy them. I expect these issues to be fixed, as they’re pretty easy to locate.

GAMEPLAY

The gameplay has good things and bad things about it. The resource management is interesting, as upgrading the right items and girls can quickly speed up your progress. It requires some strategic thinking, but the bulk of the gameplay you’re clicking your highest earning girl, to speed up her earnings. I wanted to access at least episode 7 for this review, and spent literal hours just clicking my girls to complete quests. Bizarrely, the next few episodes were much faster to complete.

My laptop has a touchpad, which I tap with two fingers. You have to click thousands of times to make progress in this game. If you’re using a mouse, you can add that to the bill, because it’ll be wrecked from playing.

The game has several ways to boost the speed of your progress. You can play a mini-game to increase your income for a set time period. You can also use cooldowns, which are tied to specific girls’ levels. And of course, this being a free-to-play browser game, you can buy boosts in the in-game store.

Whenever you reach 100 new customers for a business, you get 3 “Bitch Coins”, which are the premium currency used to upgrade girls and sextoys, and consequently your income. You can buy more Bitch Coins from the game’s in-game store.

There’s also events. It’s the same base game, but you start from zero and use different resources which are reset for the next event. If you perform well, you gain a big chunk of resources when the event concludes.

I was left wanting more mini-games. The clicker gameplay simply gets boring after a few minutes, and I bulldozed through literal hours of it, just for this review. Anything from memory games to dress-up to groping simulation would be tons of fun.

MUSIC

The game has a small and forgettable soundtrack. I heard like two songs in the entire game, both shooting for a chill mood. There’s extremely little to say about the music in this game, as it’s barely even there.

VOICE ACTING AND SOUND EFFECTS (SFX)

The game has barely any voice acting. The girls will moan in a sultry tone when you click them. The fake orgasms are convincing enough to entice more clicking. Other sounds include the subtle ruffling of cash and some discreet menu clicking prompts. The audio design overall is very well done, I was impressed.

HENTAI

The game is packed full of sex. You’re always watching hot girls doing the nasty when managing your businesses and playing the mini-games. You also unlock a new live-action porn clip when you complete an episode. I only wish there were more visuals, more variation, more things to do to the girls. Extra interactivity would elevate the pornographic aspects of this title to a level where players can comfortably return to it to rub one out at their leisure. The atmosphere is very sexy, but it could be improved.

CONCLUDING WORDS

Cunt Empire is another interesting release from Hooligapps that’s almost delivering a premium porn gaming experience, but is hampered by short-sighted design choices. The base game has tons of potential, the premise is awesome, the art is great, and the audio is well done. What’s missing is more versatility and interactivity and strategic gameplay. The business management and girl management are the interesting parts, while over-relaying on clicker gameplay is just a cheap no-brainer decision because every big porn game company is doing it. With a little bit more vision and polish, this game can become something we hentai gamers have all been waiting for.

Overall
2.7
  • Graphics
  • Gameplay
  • Story
  • Music
  • SFX
  • Hentai