Every Saturday for the past few years, we’ve gotten together with some Hentaireviews community members to watch a movie. Last week, we watched such a clusterfuck of a movie, that despite it not being hentai, I absolutely wanted to talk about it on my website. And since I own this joint, I can do whatever the fuck I want.
Vampire’s Kiss (1988), written by Joseph Minion, directed by Robert Bierman, is special. I’ll write a quick briefing of the experience, in case you want to get that juicy first-time watcher’s high. After that, I am going to spoil the living crap out of it.
Firstly, this movie features some of the best meme clips that Nicolas Cage has produced in his very strange career. The guy seems to pick the movies he acts in specifically for the purpose of getting to act strange. Quite a few films he starred in are mindboggling media experiences. The man has some weird impulses, but who are we to judge?
The movie begins with Nicolas Cage picking up a chick from a bar and taking her to his apartment. A steamy drunken sexytime begins, interrupted by the sudden appearance of a bat.
He’s seeing a therapist. Nicolas is, not the bat! We learn from his sessions with the therapist that this is a complicated man. He doesn’t quite understand his own feelings. He is successful in his career, but has failed to find lasting love. Seemingly confident and competent. Later, we see him hook up again with another woman, and that’s when shit starts hitting the fan full-speed.
At this point, if you’re still caring about not getting spoiled, go watch this. It’s comedy gold.
The movie is very Inception-like. You don’t actually know what’s true and fantasy. The line is blurred. Rachel, the vampire girl that Nicolas is banging doesn’t seem to exist. She’s invisible to everyone else. Every time they have sex, she also drains his blood through his neck and is seemingly turning him into a vampire. He is being corrupted, that much is clear. But what the vampire girl actually is, we don’t know. She almost seems like a parallel to porn addiction, or perhaps drugs or hookers?
As the story develops, Nicolas changes. He begins to have meltdowns. He wears glasses to work. Even inside the office, he wears black glasses. His demeanor becomes eccentric, erratic, eventually violent and downright bizarre. He begins to believe he’s become a vampire, but nothing indicates that. When he looks at himself from the mirror, we see his reflection.
The depiction of a descent to madness is expertly done. Fact that you cannot be certain what exactly is possessing him, because the movie blurs the line, you experience his maddened mind space. In this regard, it’s a masterpiece.
You could also look at the movie as a showcase of a toxic relationship with a manipulative woman. The vampire girl is quite manipulative, assuming she’s real at all. Certain women can play games with your mind and cause serious damage to your soul. That is one valid interpretation. However, the vampire girl struck me as symbolic of a coping method that backfired.
Tragically, we see the man try to apologize to the women he’s hurting, we see him try to make amends. But all those efforts come undone, as his madness gets worse and worse and worse. By the time he begins to genuinely believe that he’s a vampire, he’s gone. There’s no saving the man from his trajectory. He does unthinkable things. Such as, buying plastic teeth from a gag shop. Eating a pigeon. Having a therapy session with thin air.
Everyone in our chatroom watching the movie stream was enjoying it. It was funny, but also horrifying. Mysterious, but easy to follow. There were no scenes that didn’t build up towards the big climax, it was a tight package.
After watching Vampire’s Kiss, I started thinking. Anyone with experiences this complicated would never be able to speak about them. Secrets that cannot be shared lead to isolation, and isolation is the path to madness. How would you go about untangling an emotional mess like this?
Imagine going through a complete meltdown. Something like a suicide attempt. While in the throes of this darkness, this call from beyond the edge of your mind tells you to do horrifying things. To take lives, to take your own life. Nicolas’ character felt such a call. What language would you even use to describe that urge? Same goes for being abused sexually, or being the abuser. Your entire identity is forever mired by guilt and questions. What drove you into the actions that led to the events that unfolded, and why couldn’t you stop it? Both the abuser and the victim will have these questions. It splits your personality into fragments, near-impossible to assemble into anything cohesive again. This is stuff that you bring up slowly with new contacts.
Some experiences are simply so complex, there is no way to return back from that, not without changing. You just have to do what you can to not change into a twisted monster. Perhaps your monster just has to be allowed room to breathe.
